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Zoey, the Knowledge Keeper of the Pack, outside the reading room

22 · METHOD

Alone: start at seconds, not hours

Being alone is not natural for a dog. Start at five seconds outside the door and climb to hours, with the rituals and his energy done first.

  • 29 min read
  • 17 figures
  • In the book
Text

A lit wedding marquee at night, guests laughing and the couple on the stage behind. A woman in a silk saree hurries towards the exit looking at her phone, worried, as an older relative reaches out to stop her.

You close the door, and before the lift has reached the ground floor you can hear him. A whine first, then a howl. By evening a neighbour has said something on the stairs, and by the end of the month there is a notice from the society, the committee that runs your building. You come home and the corner of the sofa is dug out, there are scratch marks along the bottom of the door, and there is a puddle next to it, from a dog who has been house-trained for two years.

And slowly something happens to you as well. You become scared to go out. You leave the wedding early. One small thing has started running your whole life.

A lit wedding marquee at night, guests laughing and the couple on the stage behind. A woman in a silk saree hurries towards the exit looking at her phone, worried, as an older relative reaches out to stop her., open the figure larger
The other half of separation anxiety. One small thing starts running your whole life, and you leave the wedding early.

This is one of the most common issues I have seen, for the dog and for the family both. And I want to say the most important thing first, because so many families were angry with this dog by the time they called me. He is not doing it to you. He is not punishing you for going. Nobody ever taught him how to be alone.

Why being alone is hard for him

Look at dogs in their own world. A pack does not split up for long. They eat together, travel together, rest together, and when one of them does get separated, they howl, they run, they smell their way back, until they are together again.

Only humans separate. We go to the office, to college, to the market, and we leave the dog behind, every day. For us that is ordinary. For him it is one of the most unnatural things we ask.

He scratches at the door and digs at the sofa, the way a trapped dog digs his way out. The gap under the door is the way out, and on the other side of it is you.

He howls. A howl is a question. It is how a dog asks the rest of his pack where they are, so that they can call back and guide him to them. In a field, somebody answers. In a flat, nobody does, because you are already at the office.

Two panels. On a dusk hillside a dog howls and, on the far ridge, another dog lifts her head and howls back. In an empty flat the same dog sits in front of the shut front door, howling at it, scratch marks along its bottom., open the figure larger
A howl is a question: where are you? On the hillside, someone on the far ridge lifts her head and answers, and the lost one knows which way to go. In the flat, he asks the shut door, and nobody answers, so he asks again.

When the howl gets no answer, he starts to whine. When the whine gets no answer either, the fear has nowhere left to go, and he pees, or poops, or tears something apart. That is not dirtiness and it is not revenge. It is a frightened dog trying to calm himself down, with the only ways he has.

The rest of chapter 22 is in the book

Chapters 01 to 03 are free to read. The other 21 chapters cover, in order:

  • The rest of the Foundation
  • The Six Rituals
  • When Something Is Wrong

The book goes on sale soon, at ₹499, paid once. The button opens an email to support@ohmydog.rocks, asking to be told the day it does.

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Until then, these are free and cover the same ground: